


I Know the Feel of Your Name

by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Get Together, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:34:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26055787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetfic/pseuds/Perpetual%20Motion
Summary: Your heartbeat spells out your soulmate's name in Morse Code, but then you have to find each other.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 17
Kudos: 100
Collections: Barisi Soulmate Bingo





	I Know the Feel of Your Name

Rafael is ten years old when he feels a sudden tug in his chest and then feels his heartbeat shift. He gasps, pressing one hand over his mouth so his father doesn't hear him. Rafael is supposed to be asleep, but he'd awoken a few minutes ago for some reason he couldn't figure out. Now he knows. 

His soulmate's been born, and his heart has shifted, beating out the name of whoever it is in Morse Code against Rafael's palm.

The next morning, after Rafael's father has left the house, Rafael sits in his room with a notebook and records his heartbeat over and over, trying to figure out which letter is the start. He ignores the vowels at first, starting with the C because it comes first in the alphabet and writing down the name from there. 

C-K-D-O-M-I-N-I

That doesn't look like any name Rafael's ever seen. He hears his _Abuelita_ humming in the kitchen and stands up, taking his pencil and notebook with him. He shows her the notebook and asks if she sees a name in the letters.

_Abuelita_ takes his pencil and touches the tip to each letter before she writes. 

N-I-C-K  
N-I-C-K-I  
M-I-N  
M-I-N-I  
D-O-M-I-N-I-C-K

Rafael stares at the name for a moment before he takes the pencil back from his _Abuelita_ and writes it out in his nicest handwriting. 

DOMINICK

He smiles at it and feels his grandmother touch her fingers to the top of his head. "It's got three syllables like mine," he tells her.

"It does," she agrees. "That sounds like good luck."

*

When Rafael is 28, his heartbeat suddenly changes. He's drafting a brief in the crammed office with all the other junior ADAs, and for a moment, there is a seizing pain in his chest. 

He goes to the bathroom and opens his shirt, pulling his undershirt up to look at his chest. There's no mark on him, no sign of whatever just happened. He presses his palm on his chest and waits for a recognizable pattern. 

N-N-Y-S-O-N-N-Y-S-O-N-N-Y

"Sonny," Rafael whispers. He translates his heartbeat a few more times, just to be sure. It's definitely Sonny. He wonders if something happened to Dominick, or if his soulmate has changed their name. But who would go from Dominick to Sonny? Why would someone make that change?

Rafael doesn't have answers, and he knows whatever pain he just felt isn't likely to come back. He pulls down his undershirt, then does up his buttons. When he gets back to his desk, he picks up a pen and writes the name on his blotter. 

SONNY

*

Over the next twelve years, Rafael meets two Sonny's and one Sunny. The two Sonny's are each with their soulmates when Rafael meets them, so he doesn't mention that their name thumps in his chest. The Sunny is wearing a name tag because they're both at a conference, and Rafael makes brief conversation, glad to know for the moment that he's not destined for someone who practices patent law. 

*

"One PP sent me a new detective," Liv says one day as she and Rafael get coffee before they go into court. "Carisi. Staten Island. We're his fourth squad in four months."

Rafael snorts as he takes a sip of his coffee. "A fixer-upper? Who'd you piss off?"

"Everyone but you, I think," Liv replies. Her sigh is quiet but unmistakable. 

Rafael gives her a sympathetic look. "If anyone can get him to get his shit together, it's you."

"That's nice of you, but wait until you meet him. He's…" Liv looks at a loss for words. "Let's say eager."

Rafael laughs drily. "Oh, I can't wait."

*

He goes by the squad three days later. It's not hard to spot Carisi. He's all limbs, and the fit on his shirt is terrible. The mustache is...something. But he's quick to explain things to Rafael and takes his direction from Liv with a quick nod and an even quicker stride. Rafael can't help but steal a glance as he walks away. The fit on his slacks isn't much better than his shirt, but he moves with a lanky grace Rafael can appreciate. 

"I saw you looking," Liv tells him at the end of the day when they grab a drink together. "I can't say I get the appeal."

Rafael shrugs. "He's smart. He listens to you. There's promise there."

"Oh, it was _promise_ you were checking for," Liv says. 

Rafael feels his heart beat. S-O-N-N-Y. "Well, I'm not getting any younger," he replies. 

Liv gives him a knowing smile. They'd confessed their lack of finding their soulmates to each other during a woe-is-me post-trial dinner when what had felt like a fairly reasonable win had turned into a shattering defeat. Liv understands better than most people what it's like to be reaching a certain age and wondering if it's ever going to happen. 

"What's your soulmate's name?" Rafael asks, feeling reckless in the face of another new face in his life that doesn't match the Morse Code beat of his heart in his chest. 

Liv looks up at the ceiling, clearly debating if she wants to say. "William," she finally says. "And I've met a lot of them."

"I'm sorry," Rafael replies and means it. "That has to be tough."

"At least it's not James," Liv says. "That's the most common name for men in the States." She gives him a wry smile and cocks her head. "What about you?"

"Sonny," Rafael says. He looks down at his glass. "It wasn't always, though. It used to say Dominick, but it changed when I was twenty-eight."

It takes Rafael a moment to realize Liv hasn't answered, not even a reassuring murmur. He looks over and finds her staring at him in shock. "What?" he asks. 

"Your heart spells Sonny?"

"...yeah." Rafael feels uncomfortable with the way Liv is looking at him, like he's a suspect she's about to crack. "But it hasn't--"

"It used to spell Dominick."

"Yes."

"With a 'K'? With a C-K?"

Rafael turns so he's facing Liv fully. "What's happening?"

Liv holds up her hands. "I need an answer, Rafa. It used to be Dominick, and now it's Sonny."

Rafael nods slowly. "Yeah. Dominick with a C-K. Sonny with an O, if that makes a difference."

Liv stares at him for a long moment. "Carisi's first name is Dominick. But he wants everyone to call him Sonny."

Rafael gapes at her. "WHAT," he finally manages to yelp. 

"Dominick Carisi, Jr. But call me Sonny," Liv says in a way that Rafael recognizes as her reciting something she's heard. "I assumed he gave you the same introduction."

"Rollins introduced him," Rafael says faintly. He stares at his glass, then his hands, then back at Liv. He presses his free hand to his chest and feels his heartbeat. 

S-O-N-N-Y. 

Liv takes out her phone and sends a text, her mouth set. Rafael doesn't ask what he's doing. He knows. She's texting Carisi. Sonny. Dominick. Dominick who goes by Sonny. Who--and Rafael suddenly remembers being ten years old when his heartbeat changed and does some quick math--probably started college and decided he preferred 'Sonny' over whatever he was called instead. He's certainly not a Dominick, Rafael thinks with a sort of half-hysterical humor. 

"He's on his way," Liv says, breaking Rafael out of his thoughts. She reaches over and takes his hand. "I don't know his soulmate's name," she says. "But I heard him mention he hasn't met them yet."

Rafael nods slowly. "Okay," he says. He thinks back to the meeting in the squad room. Rollins saying, "Hey, Barba, this is Carisi, the new guy," and then Rafael had asked what they had, and he hadn't even thought to introduce himself fully, and didn't give Carisi the chance to do it either. Could he have known hours ago? Was he about to know now?

He and Liv don't talk as they wait. She holds his free hand and squeezes it every time he checks the time on his phone. Twenty-two minutes since he'd first looked at it, Carisi walks up to them and beams at them both. 

"What's up, Sarge?" he says in greeting. He nods sharply at Rafael. "Counselor."

"Detective," Rafafel says with none of his usual bravado. 

"Carisi," Liv says, "I realized I didn't get to make proper introductions earlier." She looks at Rafael and waits for his nod. "This is Rafael--"

Carisi gasps, and there's a sharp 'crack' in the air followed by a sudden roaring in Rafael's ears. He can hear a heartbeat, but it's not his. It's no trouble to spell out the name, though. 

R-A-F-A-E-L

"Oh, shit," Carisi sighs. There's a flaring light in his eyes, pulsing the same rhythm as Rafael's name in his chest. "Oh, shit. You're my Rafael."

"You're my Dominick," Rafael says. "My Sonny."

Carisi nods frantically and takes a half-step closer. "Yeah. It looks like--wow. I...fuck."

Liv stands and touches Rafael's back. "I'll leave you two to talk," she says. "Carisi," she says, touching Carisi's (Dominick's. Sonny's. _Sonny's_ ) arm, "take tomorrow off. From what I hear, the first hit of the bond wipes you out."

"Uh-huh," Carisi (Sonny. _Sonny_ ) says, not looking away from Rafael. 

"I heard you, Liv," Rafael replies, not looking away from Sonny ( _SONNY_ ). He feels Liv press a quick kiss to his cheek and hears her murmur congratulations, and then she's gone, and he and Sonny (Sonny, Sonny, Sonny) are simply standing in front of each other, not touching, watching each other as the first, bright light of their soulmate bond starts to fade in both their eyes. 

"Um," Sonny says as the final sparks disappear from his irises. "I have three sisters and my parents are still married, and I'm in night school at Fordham Law."

"Patent law?" Rafael asks, thinking briefly of the Sunny he'd met a few years before. 

Sonny's face pulls into a grimace. "God, I hope not. Everything I've read on it makes me fall asleep."

And Rafael beams. Not just at the way Sonny's grimace makes him look endearing or because Sonny looks beyond excited to know more about him, but because his heart is still beating this man's name, and he knows, finally, that this is his Sonny.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta by M! 
> 
> I assure you the William for Olivia is William Dodds. Just wanna be really fucking clear on that. 
> 
> Another for soulmates bingo.


End file.
